The Devil In Disguise
by crow-eater
Summary: Catherine Winston left Charming when she was sixteen. After living in Los Angeles and being in an abusive relationship for almost eight years Cat runs away from her problems once again. The only place she feels safe is Charming. But she has skeletons hidden in her closet and although Charming is her home, there is a reason she ran away 8 years ago. [STARTS IN SEASON 1]
1. Prologue

**Now I will tell you what I** **'** **ve done for you**

 **Fifty-thousand tears I** **'** **ve cried**

 **Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you**

 **And you still won** **'** **t hear me**

Los Angeles, CA - 01/10/2008

" _You whore, come back,_ _"_ _Loudly the chair crashed against the wall and startled I turned around while he stood there, eyes wide open, in the middle of the kitchen. The table in front of him was completely destroyed._

" _You can_ _'_ _t fucking tell me what to do anymore, motherfucker,_ _"_ _I shouted and pointed my finger at him._

 _Furiously he screamed and then tore a drawer after drawer from the kitchen counters._ _"You bitch!"_

 _Suddenly he was rushing towards me and threw me to the ground. My head hit hard on the ground and for a moment everything went black. The next thing I could remember was the violent hit on my left eye and I saw stars while the 32-year-old pushed me to the ground._

" _Whore!_ _"_ _He spat right into my face and another blow hit me on the head while I kicked my legs and tried to get my hands around his neck,_ _"_ _Fucking piece of shit!_ _"_

" _Jacob…,"_ _I gasped as my lip burst and the blood mixed with spit in my mouth._

 _It made me feel sick. Disgusted I pressed my lips together and tried to push the older one of me who punched me in the stomach and for a moment I couldn_ _'_ _t breathe anymore. Searching for help I looked around the kitchen. Hectically my eyes darted from the filthy kitchen counter to the broken tiles when my eyes caught the reflection of light on the long kitchen knife. Painfully I stretched my arm and screamed when Jacob punched my on the crook of my outstretched arm. The pain ripped through my whole body and I whimpered._

" _You filthy whore,_ _"_ _He repeated himself and his fist collided with the left side of my face. An immense pain shot through my head and I almost passed out._

 _I had to gather all my strength to stretch my arm and reach for the knife that lay some inches away from me on the ground. Desperately I bit on my burst lower lip and once again everything went black._

" _Don_ _'_ _t believe that I am going to put up with your shit anymore, bitch,_ _"_ _Jacob cursed and punched me in the stomach again._

" _Don_ _'_ _t you ever call me a whore again, asshole!_ _"_ _I hissed before I rammed the knife into his stomach and his eyes suddenly widened._

 _With the last strength I could gather I pushed his body off me and panting Jacob rolled onto his back. His hands clutching the knife that stuck out of his stomach._

" _Please_ _…,"_ _He started but in the next moment he was spitting blood and no word left his mouth._

 _Disgusted I pushed myself off the ground while my legs trembled beneath me. Instantly pain shot through my body and made me weak. My legs felt like jelly and I was worried that I wouldn_ _'_ _t be able to walk. I supported myself on the wall and my fingers searched for any wounds in my face. My eye had already swollen up and my lip was burst. But I had to get out of here._

 _With every step I took the pain seemed to tear a hole in my stomach and panting I pressed my hand on my belly. Carefully I turned to look at the dark-haired man who laid on the ground, coughing and gasping. The blood was running between his fingers and twisted with pain he pressed his hands on the wound._

" _Catherine_ _…,"_ _He said and it was the first time that I heard my name this evening. My heart hurt but the pain numbed all my emotions and disgusted I shook my head before I dragged myself into the direction of the bedroom._

 _In a hurry I heaved my bag onto the bed and then opened the broken closet whose doors already fell off its hinges. Hectically I threw all my clothes in the bag before I zipped the bag and limped back into the kitchen. I had to stop every minute because the pain nearly made me pass out but the adrenalin was pumping through my veins and kept me on my legs. In the kitchen I reached of the car keys. Not a moment too late. I could already hear the police sirens and hectically I looked around. One of the neighbors_ _'_ _must have called the cops because of the noise. Nothing new though._

 _Now therefore I shouldered my bag and limped to the back door. For a moment I paused and turned around to Jacob who was still laying on the floor, now white as a sheet._

" _I wish you all the best, asshole!_ _"_ _I hissed and then I hurried to the black Chevy Impala._

 _Frantically I threw my bag in the back before I started the engine and drove off, leaving the shabby house I called my home behind. In the rear-view mirror I could already see the gleaming lights of the siren before I turned the car on the highway and the lights disappeared._

 _I was safe. At least for now!_

* * *

 _Welcome to my Sons of Anarchy Story which will start in season 1 and continues from there on. First of all I have to say that English isn't my first language, so I might make mistakes. So please correct me if I do something wrong! I posted the prologue and chapter one on tumblr but a very nice follower of mine suggested to upload the story here. So here I am. I hope you liked the prologue, the first chapter will follow shortly! :) xx - jenn_


	2. Chapter 1 - Day 1

Hey everybody, so this is the first chapter. I am still a bit nervous because English isn't my first language but hopefully I won't make too many mistakes. Tell me what you think about this chapter after you're done reading! xx - jenn

* * *

 **I don'** **t ever wanna feel like I did that day**

 **But take me to the place I love, take me all the way**

 _ **Day 1**_

 _ **Charming, CA**_

It was close to 10 when I passed the place name sign. Finally, after just 9-hour of driving I'd reached Charming. Usually the journey from L.A. to Charming only Ordinarily one needed of L.A. to Charming only took 6 hours. But I had to make a few stops, because the pain had almost knocked me out and slowly the adrenalin had faded away and I could feel the actual effect of my injuries.

The whole left side of my face was constantly throbbing and I could only manage to get through this pain with a massive amount of painkillers. My lip was still burst but fortunately the blood had dried. The blow on my left eye and the temple gave me strong headaches. Though worse than the headaches was the constant pain in my stomach. On a motorway service area toilet I had examined my injuries and many blue spots were already adorning my belly. With every movement I almost fainted and over and over again I had to stop because I had to vomit. The first thing I had to do when I was going to arrive in Charming would be to visit a doctor. After all I was safe here. At least from him.

Just when I had passed the gas station I heard a siren howling behind me. Startled I looked in the rear-view mirror and recognized a patrol car behind me. I swallowed hard before I put my sunglasses on and carefully applied some red lipstick on my bruised lips. Then I pulled over.

Nervously I drummed on the steering wheel and leaned back in my seat when suddenly someone knocked against the window. Under pain I winded down the window and then looked into a familiar face.

"Miss, are you aware that you were going miles over the speed limit?" The older cop asked me now in a serious tone and the corners of my mouth turned upwards.

"Can you forgive me just this one time, Chief?" grinning I pushed down the sunglasses a bit, still being careful to not reveal the bruises on my face.

For a moment the policeman just stared at me before his eyes widened in realization, "Catherine? Catherine Winston? Is that really you? I can't believe it. Little Cat is back in town. How long has it been? 4 years? 5?"

"8 years to be exact, Unser," I smiled and then put my sunglasses on properly.

"Wow, I didn't know it had been so long already. It's nice to see you again, sweetheart. Does your dad know you're back in town?"

For a short moment a shadow crossed my face before I tried to smile again. The memories of the past still more painfully than the bruises of last night.

"No, and please, don't tell him. It's supposed to be surprise. So can you please not tell anyone?" I begged the older man who affectionately put his hand on my arm and then nodded understandingly.

"Of course, Cat," He answered and thankful for his understanding I smiled, "No wonder that you were in such a hurry. After 8 years being gone, you probably can't wait to be back and see everyone again!"

"Yeah, you could put it like that," I murmured and the bit down on my lower lip. Pain shot through my body and I contorted my face.

"Hey, is everything okay, my dear?" Unser probed and alarmed I looked at the nearly bald-headed cop who now looked at me with concern in his eyes.

Immediately I withdrew into the shade of the car and then nodded violently, "Yeah, everything's fine, Unser. Just a bit excited and scared to see the whole pack!"

"Ha ha, yeah I can only imagine how you must feel right now," Unser laughed and then squeezed my hand softly before he took one step back from my car, "Then I don't want to hold you up any longer. I am sure we will see each other again soon!"

"Thanks, Unser. See you soon," with a smile I said goodbye to him before I started the engine again and turned back on the highway.

My next destination: SAMCRO.

[…]

I had parked the car outside the gates of the Teller-Morrow auto shop. For half an hour I had sat inside my car and decided if I should get out of the car or not. It was rush hour at the auto shop and I had already recognized some familiar faces which hurried busily over the lot. However, I didn't make me any less nervous. I had been away for 8 years, just left when I was 16 and didn't tell anyone that I was leaving. Neither my father, nor my brother or Chibs. But above all I didn't tell him. How would they react to me if I would just walk through the doors? How would he react? I took a deep breath and then leaned the head against the headrest of my car seat, while trying to fade out the constant pain in my temples. The pain was increasing slowly and I still didn't know how long I could go on without a medical examination.

"Let's do this, Cat…," I murmured to myself, then I opened the door and get out of the Chevy Impala. Slowly I made my way to the gates. I was only a few steps away from the open gates when I changed my mind.

Memory after memory was flashing before my eyes and I was not sure if I was ready for it. Yes, SAMCRO was my family. But eight years were a long time and I was afraid of their reaction to see me again. Would they welcome me with open arms or slam the door shut?

I had just turned around and was on my way back to my car when I heard someone calling my name. Stopping in my tracks I slowly turned around.

"Catherine?" The Scottish accent was unmistakable and when I turned to him tears were already dwelling in my eyes. Chibs Telford didn't seem to have changed at all and when he walked slowly to me, the feeling of security and warmth flooded instantly through my body. I had always felt like that when I was with him and now wasn't any different.

"Hey," I replied reserved and bit down on my lower lip. I ignored the pain for this moment. It was just so good to see my favorite Scotsman again.

"Catherine!" With a few more steps he had reached me and drew me into a tender embrace. Immediately I wrapped my arms around him and out of habit I buried my face in his black leather vest. The warm leather was kind of a safe place for me right now.

My words turned into sobs and I pressed myself even more against Chibs while the exhaustion and relief finally caught up with me. I was safe. I was home. I had returned to my family. And I was sure that they would protect me from anything.

"Hey, hey, kiddo, everything's fine!" Chibs soothingly stroke my back and slowly I calmed down, "You're here. What ya doin' here? Cat, baby, we were all worried sick about ya!"

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed, while I slowly freed myself from his embrace and looked up to the older man. When he really saw my face for the first time now, he drew in a sharp breath before his fingers grabbed my chin and he took a closer look at me.

"Who was that?"

"Chibs…," I started but the dark-haired biker violently shook his head. With the scar he looked more than frightening but not do me. Chibs was one of the most sensitive and loving persons that I have ever met. However, that didn't meant that he wouldn't kill the person who had done this to me.

"Who was that, Catherine?" He asked me once more, this time more forcefully and I knew that I couldn't escape this time.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Chibs. I've run away. He can't hurt me anymore," He wasn't really convinced by my words. Anger was written all over his face and Jacob could be glad that he was back in Los Angeles, "More importantly, I've stuck a knife into his stomach and left him to bleed on the kitchen floor."

Now Chibs couldn't hold back a proud smile and once again he pulled me into a warm embrace while pressing a loving kiss onto my hair. The throbbing in my head was slowly fading but now my legs were furiously shaking from all the effort they were doing to keep me upright.

"Whoa, whoa," Chibs arms reached for me to prevent me from falling when my legs gave in under me, "Cat? Baby?"

"I'm fine," I tried to assure him, however, in the next moment I was starting to cough blood and therefore immediately alarmed Chibs.

"Bullshit," The older one replied and he picked me up without further ado, "I'm takin' ya to the hospital. Now. HALF-SACK?!"

"Yeah?" answered a voice and I could only make out the blurry silhouette of a young red-head who was rushing to us while holding a wrench in his hands.

„Tell the others I had to take Catherine to the hospital!"

"Who?", The young guy asked confused and irritated Chibs let out a loud groan.

"Just tell 'em that I am on my way to the hospital, okay? If they need me, they can call me!" The Scots shouted before he looked for my keys and then left the property of SAMCRO. Then everything went black.

[…]

"Hey kiddo!" Chibs was bending over me, his hand placed on my cheek. Quickly he gave me an affectionate kiss on the forehead before he made himself comfortable in the chair beside my bed.

"Hey," I croaked exhausted and settle back into the cushions, "How long have I been unconscious?"

Chibs squeezed my hand slightly, "Long enough so ya didn't had to witness the doctors examinin' you. But the doctor still wanna stop by later. He said somethin' about examinin' ya again once you're awake. Oh, and they wanna… they wanna make sure nothin' else besides your face and stomach was damaged!"

Confused I looked at the older one, "No, Jacob didn't touch me like that!"

"They just wanna make sure, Cat!"

Sighing I closed my eyes and then touched my face carefully. A patch was just sitting above my left eye and the pain in my head had disappeared. Though my lips were still swollen but they seemed to be healing already.

"Your face looks better already, baby," Chibs told me now and surprised I looked at him, "But they've prescribed ya some antibiotics. You took some pretty bad blows to your stomach", he clenched his teeth furiously and this time it was me who squeezed his hand slightly, "But otherwise you've no serious injuries. You scared the shit out of me, babe!"

"Sorry!"

"Hey, hey, I'm just glad to see ya again, baby. We gave up hope to that," He replied and I noticed the tears that were starting to dwell in my eyes, "Oh god, please don't!"

"Sorry," I laughed hoarsely and wiped the tears of my cheeks, while Chibs couldn't hold back a laugh as well, "Thank you!"

"It's nothin', babe," The Scot winked at me and then rose from his seat when there was a knock on the door, "There's someone who wants to see you badly. I'll wait outside, okay?"

"Okay," I nodded. Chibs squeezed my hand once again and then left the hospital room. At the door he patted the older Son on the back who was only capable to breath through the oxygen tank he was carrying with him.

When the door closed behind Chibs I looked up nervously and played with my fingers.

"Catherine!" He said my name affectionately and immediately I broke down. My whole body was shaking and I buried my face in my hands. The last hour had just been too much for me and I was overwhelmed by the love and affection that had been given to me once again.

"Dad," I sobbed and not a moment later my father Piney had wrapped his arms around me while he was rocking me back and forth. Although I remembered him as a rather rough and grumpy guy, he had loved us kids unconditionally.

"Everything's fine now, Cathy. You are safe," He assured me before he kissed my cheek and stroke my blonde hair, "And I promise you this bastard will pay for it!"

Smiling I wiped the tears away and then looked at my father who seemed to be even more exhausted that he had been eight years ago. His pulmonary emphysema seemed to have become worse over the years and it pained me to see him like this.

"I'm so sorry, Dad," I told him honestly and reached for his hands.

"The most important thing is that you're back, Cathy. We'll discuss everything else later, okay? Now you just have to get back on your feet first," His tone was serious but then he pressed a kiss onto my knuckles.

For a while we just enjoyed the moment and felt safe with my father next to me. Then my father began to tell me what I had missed. He told me what had happened to the club and that Opie had been in prison for the last 5 years and had just been released. He also told me that Opie had cut his ties to the club which really surprised because my older brother had been Jax' best friend for forever. Piney told me everything that had happened during the last eight years and I listened to him keenly.

[…]

Piney had stayed for quite a while and had told me all about the last years and the things that went wrong with the club. However, he still had some club stuff he had to handle and there was one more examination waiting for me.

I had spent more than half an hour on the gynecology station and was examined by a red-haired doctor. However, all she could find was that Jacob had only leaving bruised on my body and nothing else had been harmed.

When I left the exam room I had to go through the children's ward to get to the elevators. This was the moment I bumped into him. Surprised I stopped in the middle of the hallway and just simply stared at him. The blond had also stopped, he looked at me in utter disbelief. I had to swallow hard and my legs started to tremble. Every excitement or bigger effort was still difficult for me. I had just opened my mouth to say something when he was already rushing towards, engulfing me in a tight hug. Firmly I clung to his shirt and I breathed in his distinctive scent. He smelled like home and safety. Relief rushed through my body and I closed my eyes, sobbing quietly into his shirt. Jackson would let anything happen to me. Slowly he freed himself from my tight grip and then took an examining glance on my face. Like my father and Chibs before his face hardened instantly and embarrassed I lowered my head.

"Who did this?" He said through gritted teeth and grabbed my chin softly.

"It's okay, Jax," I murmured tiredly and looked at him. He seemed to notice that I didn't wanted to speak about the whole thing and sighing he wrapped his arms around me again.

"I won't ask you about this right now but soon you have to tell me what happened to you, Cat," He whispered into my ear and slowly I nodded before he took my hand, "Come on, you have to meet someone!"

Eagerly Jax pulled me behind him into the room. In the middle stood an incubator and in it was a newborn baby. Interested I stepped closer, while Jax looked proudly down at the little bundle.

"Is he…," I began, casting a wary glance at the baby.

"Cat, this is Abel. Abel, this is your godmother Cat," Jax said softly and shocked I stared at the older one.

"Jax, I can't…", I started but was immediately interrupted by him.

"You are family, Cat. No matter how long you were gone. You'll always be family and I know that you'll be there for Abel. No matter what!"

Tears started to dwell in my eyes again and I flung myself into Jax arm.

"Thank you, Jax," I whispered against his chest and then slowly turned back to Abel, "Hey, little man. I'm Cat and I'll make sure that nothing bad is going to happen to you, okay? You can always count on me. No matter what…"


	3. Chapter 2 - Day 2

**It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie**

 **The moment to live and the moment to die**

 _Day 2_

"Rise and Shine, sleepyhead!" Grumbling, I turned onto the other side and put the cushion over my head. However, it was pulled away from my head seconds later and I angrily looked at Chibs.

The Scot looked amused and then passed me a glass of water, "Time to get up, baby!"

"Thanks," I mumbled sleepily and then sat up slowly while Chibs put my bag on the bed.

"I found this in the trunk of your car. I thought that you wanna freshen up a bit," the older one shrugged and smiling I nodded, "I'll wait outside. Just tell me when you're ready!"

"You don't have to wait for me, Chibs," I replied, but the Scot just kissed my hair before he left the room.

I hastened to shower and put on some clothes and half an hour later I was ready to leave the room. Chibs had waited patiently before the door and when I left my room he looked at me thoroughly.

"You look much better already, babe," he told me and then put his arm around my shoulder.

"And I already feel ten times better, Chibs. Thank you for everything," I smiled at him while we left the hospital together.

At the parking lot I searched for my Chevy Impala but it was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Chibs walked to a Harley which was parked in front of the St. Thomas Hospital.

"Where's my car?" I asked him before he passed me a helmet which I accepted thankfully.

"I took it to the club. Your brakes are shitty, darlin', and I told the boys to take a look at it," he told me while I sat behind him on the bike.

"There better not be a scratch on it!" I threatened and Chibs laughed loudly before he drove off and left the hospital behind.

I was already a little nervous to see the other guys and also to get to know the new members of **SAMCRO**.

[…]

When Chibs entered the Teller-Morrow lot, it immediately felt like being home again. Grinning, I looked around while Chibs parked the bike beside the row of other motorcycles and then I hopped off the Harley. I recognized my car which was standing in the sun and shining from every side.

Chibs took the helmet from me and then shouldered my bag, "Some of the guys cleaned it just for you. Come on, they're already waitin' for you!"

In the workshop I recognized Jax who was working intently. When he saw us walking towards him he pushed the protective glasses on to his head and gave me a wide smile. Immediately I felt safe and secure and with hasty steps I flung myself into Jax's arms. Smiling he kissed my cheek before I turned to look at the exhaust pipe which was laying on the work bench behind him.

"Let me do this, Jax…" I said decisive and took the protective glasses from him as well as the welder, "… Before you do something wrong here!"

Laughing the blond stepped back and observed me while I started to work on the exhaust pipe.

"Only one day here and she's already taken over the workshop. Some things never change," Jax teased me now and I just rolled my eyes.

"Careful, Jackie Boy, Cat doesn't like if someone interrupts her," Chibs laughed and threateningly I held the welder up.

"This is my job, boys. You might be pros on the bikes but I am a pro in the workshop. So no back talk!"

"Aye Aye, M'am," Chibs winked at me and then he went to get himself a beer while I bent over the work bench again.

For a while I was quietly working at the exhaust pipe. Chibs and Jax had withdrawn into a corner and talked to each other in low voices. Frequently I had to look at them to make sure that they were really there. That I was really back.

I had just finished my work as a young redhead was approaching me. Surprised I looked up.

"Hey, could you give me the hammer please?" He asked me nervously and taken back I put the protective glassed down before I passed him the hammer.

Before he could turn away again I held him back. "I am Cat. Catherine Winston!"

Hastily I took off the gloves and extended my hand to him.

"Kip. But everybody calls me Half-Sack," Kip took my hand and shook it slightly while I smiled at him. "You're Piney's daughter, right?"

I was just about to answer him when Chibs interrupted me, "Yes, and you can take your hands off her now, Half-Sack!"

Quickly Kip let go of my hand and wiped his hands on his overall. Rudely I pushed Chibs and then gave the prospect a reassuring smile.

"Hey, what happened to your face?" He suddenly asked me and involuntarily I touched my still swollen lip.

I noticed Chibs beside me whose hands were clenched tightly and calmly I put my hand on his arm.

"Calm down. It was only a question and he won't be the last and only one to ask me!" I tried to calm Chibs down before I turned to Kip. "Just a small quarrel. Nothing serious!"

Chibs rolled his eyes but he didn't say anything and just sent the prospect off to work again while there was now a Harley approaching the open workshop. I recognized the biker immediately and a wide smile appeared on my face. Bobby Munson stopped his bike in front of the garage and when he noticed me he looked shocked.

"Cat?" He asked surprised and my smile only became wider, "What the hell?"

With huge steps I rushed to him and hugged him tightly before I gave a quick kiss to his cheek, "Hey Bobby!"

"What happened to your face, baby?" with concern he looked at me but I just shook my head.

"I'll explain everything once we're inside, okay? Otherwise, I have to tell it to everyone individually."

Bobby nodded understandingly and slowly I withdrew from him before he turned to Jax and held a brown paper bag up, "Got the good shit!"

Curiously I looked at the bag but Bobby didn't let me in on what was inside the bag.

"Let's go into the club house," Jax said and then put his gloves down on the workbench while Chibs and Bobby already made their way to the clubhouse, "You're comin' with us, Cat!"

Briefly I nodded before he put an arm around my shoulder and together we walked to the clubhouse of **SAMCRO**.

It felt as if I had never been away but there was still this uncertainty inside of me which gave me stomachaches. I was still afraid.

[…]

When I entered the clubhouse my father was the first one I recognized. He sat at the table at which Chibs had sat down as well.

"Hey Dad," I greeted him and kissed his cheek before I went to the bar to get a bottle of water from the fridge.

My father had a tequila bottle beside him and I didn't like the sight at all. However, I was not in the position right now to give him any lectures. I had just gotten a bottle of water from the fridge when I heard heavy steps approaching me.

"Cat?" I recognized his voice immediately and startled I stood up. There, in front of me, stood Opie looking at me with pure shock in his eyes. "Dad told me that you're back but I didn't believe him until now!"

"Hey Opie!" I said and smiled had my brother timidly before he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up from behind the bar. Laughing I hugged him tightly and pressed my face against his cheek.

"I've missed you so much, baby. And I am still mad," He told me seriously after we disengaged from the hug. "You still have a lot of explainin' to do, little sister!"

"I had to get out of here, Opie. This had nothing to do with you at all. The big wide world was just waiting for me and…"

"What the hell happened to your face?" He asked me loudly and firmly he grabbed my chin, "Catherine!"

"Opie, not now, okay?" I begged him and avoided his hard glance. I knew that I would have to explain everything sooner or later but I just wanted to enjoy being back for a while longer.

"Cat!"

"Please," I whined and my brother nodded, although he still wasn't really convinced but at least he dropped the topic for now.

Opie let go of me slowly while Bobby emptied the contents of the paper bag on the table. A row of muffins fell out and grinning I looked at the burly man who just went to the bar to get beer for everyone. For a while I observed the bikers who were laughing and chatting happily and I couldn't hold back a stupid smile. This was my home. That hadn't change, although I had been away for eight years. This was still my home.

[…]

"Mornin', guys," the voice of the President echoed through the clubhouse and instantly it made my hair stand on end.

"Everythin' okay, Cat?" Opie asked my while I quietly leaned against him. Incapable of saying anything right now I just nodded while I nervously bit down on my lower lip. The pain being not so bad anymore.

"Before I tell you that the deal with the Niners is officially sealed, I still have to make a small announcement," Grinning Clay Morrow looked at me and timidly I smiled at him, "Come here, dear!"

The 59-year- old stretched his hand towards me and uncertainly I walked to him before Clay put his arm around my shoulder and pressed a kiss to my hair. Tensed I stood beside one of the founders of SAMCRO and tried not to show how nervous I actually was right now.

"As some of you already know a ghost has come back," Clay said and pulled me closer to him. "The Princess of SAMCRO returned and I want everyone to take good care of her. That goes for each and every one of you, okay?"

A unanimous nod came from all the members and before I could foresee it Tig had pulled me into a warm hug and kissed me affectionately on the forehead.

"We've missed you, baby girl!" He murmured against my skin and I took a deep breath before I enjoyed his loving embrace.

"Restrain yourself, Tig. She's still my daughter," I heard my dad say and laughing I freed myself from the Sergeant-at-Arms.

The atmosphere loosened up again as Clay was now handing his men envelopes full of money. I tried to be as low-key as possible and stood behind my father whom I put my hand on his shoulder.

I knew that club business was none of my business and I probably had no right to remain at the club house right now. However, Clay didn't say anything and so I stayed.

The door to the clubhouse opened and a young man with a Mohawk and tribal tattoos on either side of it entered the room. Surprised I looked at the young Hispanic guy because I had never seen him before. He must have patched in when I had already left Charming.

"Hey Juice," Jax greeted him now and Juice nodded at his vice president. "May I introduce Cat Winston to you?"

Stunned he stared at me, "Piney's daughter?"

"Don't get any ideas, son!" My father threatened him and playfully I hit the old man's shoulder.

"Don't listen to him. Since I am back all he wants to do is protect me," I grinned and then rolled my eyes.

"But by the looks of it you seem to need protection," Juice said without really thinking and shocked I just stared at him.

"I have to get some fresh air," I stuttered and then hastily left the clubhouse. What Chibs was saying to Juice I couldn't hear anymore.

Gasping for air I stood in front of the clubhouse, clutching my throat in panic. I was hyperventilating and frantically I looked around before I crouched down and tried to calm myself. I didn't know why Juice's words affected me so much but all the emotions had come crashing down on me in that moment.

I had just buried my face in my hands and rocked back and forth softly when someone approached me with hasty steps.

"Hey, everything okay here?" It was Gemma Teller Morrow, Jax's mother and Clay's old lady.

She had been like a second mother to me because mine hadn't really looked after us kids when we were younger. After the divorce she had just packed her things and left with Opie, leaving me with Piney who had drowned his frustration in alcohol. Gemma had taken care of me from then on and had made sure that I was eating and had enough clean clothes.

Clay must have told her that I was back again. Still, she took in a sharp breath when she saw me but then she helped me onto my feet and pulled me into a hug. Reassuringly she patted my back.

"Everything's okay now, baby. You're safe. Nothing will happen to you," She promised me and held me in her arms for a little while longer while I was slowly calming down again, "Everything okay now, baby?"

"Yeah," I mumbled tiredly and gave her a thankful smile, "I just got a panic attack!"

"Hey, it's okay. You are home again, baby. You don't have to be scared anymore. We'll look after you. And the asshole who did this do you will pay for it," She told me and then wiped the tears off my cheeks. "And now I am going to make you a cup of tea and you'll tell me what really happened, okay?"

I nodded feebly because it wouldn't be wise to object Gemma. She was a lioness and fought erratically for her family. And the club was her family.

[…]

Gemma had taken me away from the clubhouse and to her little office beside the workshop. I was now sitting on the dirty old sofa and sipped on my hot tea while Gemma was looking for some paperwork.

"Are you feeling better, baby?" She asked me and I could tell that she was really worried about me. Thankfully I smiled and then nodded slowly before I put my head back and took in a deep breath. "You want to tell me what really happened? And why you just had a panic attack? And maybe why you came back?"

Nervously I looked at Gemma who had sat down on the desk and watched me carefully, "I couldn't stay there any longer, Gemma. After I left I thought that I had everything under control but I got involved with the wrong people. Jacob…he… I really loved him. With all my heart. Even though he was so much older than me. Things just went downhill from one day to another and... and... and he couldn't control his anger anymore and took his anger out on me!"

"Did he hit you?"

"Yes, every fucking time. Most of the time he almost punched me to death," I whispered and embarrassed I lowered my eyes "But I couldn't come back. I… I just left without an explanation and I knew that I've broken all your hearts by doing so!"

"We're only glad that you are back, baby," Jax' mother reassured me and then sat down beside me. Affectionately she placed her arm around my shoulder and I immediately leaned against her, "Why did you decide to come back?"

"It escalated. He wanted to kill me with his bare hands. I was lucky to ram a kitchen knife into his stomach and then I ran away before the police came. The only place I could think to run to was Charming. I know that I am safe and that nothing will happen to me here!"

Gemma pressed a gentle kiss to my hair. It felt good to tell her everything, although I still couldn't tell her why I really left back then.

"We will take care of you, baby. Don't worry!" She promised me and thankfully about her words I closed my eyes.

[…]

I hadn't spent much time at the auto shop. The bikers had left soon and Gemma still had some work to do. Although I offered her my help she declined it. However, she wanted to speak to me in a week and maybe give me a job at the auto shop.

Therefore, I made my way to see my sister-in-law and her children. Ellie had been two when I had left and I had never met Opie's son because Donna became pregnant when I had already been living in Los Angeles.

I was a little bit nervous when I stood in front of Opie's house now and waited for someone to open the door. When Donna opened the door, shocked she looked at me before she pulled me into the house and wrapped her arms tightly around me. Surprised by her gushing reaction I stood in her hallway numbly before I also wrapped my arms around her.

"Where were you, Cat? What happened to you? Why did you just leave? Oh God, I've missed you so much. Why did you leave me alone with all this shit? Opie was in prison. Why didn't you call?"

Question after question left her mouth and not being able to answer any of them at the moment I just stared at her.

When she saw the bruises on my face and the swollen lips she hugged me once again, "We've missed you so much, Cathy!"

For a while we just held each other tightly before she led me to the kitchen to make tea for us both.

"Where are your children?" I asked Donna while she was looking for tea in the cupboards. The water boiling on the stove.

"At school!"

"I'm really sorry, Donna," I apologized quietly and lowered my head. I wasn't aware of the chaos I had left behind.

Donna acted like she didn't even hear my apology and if I was being honest I was glad for it, "Ellie is 10 now and Kenny turned seven a few weeks ago. They will be surprised to know that they have such a cool aunt.

Laughing I shook my head before Donna passed me a cup of hot peppermint tea. My favorite.

"How are you?" I asked her after a minute of silence and the brunette sighed heavily.

"It's almost as bad as before. We have financial problems and since Opie is back from prison I've begged him to stop getting involved with the club. But you know how it is…"

I nodded understandingly, "You can never completely forbid them to be in the club. The club is their family and Opie loves you and the kids, I am sure of it. But…"

"…he needs his brothers…and the money," Donna said angrily and I gave her a knowing smile, "I know that we can do this without the club. There will be better times!"

"You just want to protect your family, Donna. Nothing wrong with that," I tried to calm her down and the older one took a deep breath in.

"I've really missed you, Cat," She said full of honesty and gave me a wide smile which I returned with pleasure.

"It's nice to be back!" I replied and then took a sip of my tea.

[…]

I had just left Opie's and Donna's house and was about to look for a place to sleep the next couple of weeks when my mobile phone rang loudly. Startled I winced and nervously I stared at the display. Gemma's name appeared and I sighed in relief.

"Hey Gem'," I greeted the Queen of the club while I unlocked my car.

"Hey baby, are you busy right now?" She asked me.

Carelessly I threw my back on the back seat and then sat in the driver's seat, "I was just about to look for a place to sleep. But other than that I am free. What's going on?"

"Do you want to visit Abel with me, godmother?" She laughed and I couldn't hold back a grin. I wouldn't miss the opportunity to see Jax' son.

"I'll meet you at the hospital, okay?"

I heard Gemma starting the engine of her car and I started mine as well, "See you there baby"

[…]

Patiently I waited in front of the St. Thomas Hospital for Gemma. When Gemma approached me she smiled at me warmly before I greeted her with a kiss on the cheek before we entered the hospital together.

"By the way I talked to Jax," Gemma told me while we were standing in the elevator and curiously I looked at her. "You can stay with him for as long as you want. And no buts about it. Jax already told the prospect to prepare the guest room for you!"

"Thank you, Gemma," I replied and gave her an honest smile. Clay's old lady only nodded. I didn't know what I would do without the club.

We had spent a whole hour with Abel and I couldn't take my eyes off the small miracle in front of me. He was a fighter, just like his dad.

When we left the room now and made our way to the elevator I got an awful shock. At the reception area was none other than Tara Knowles, the love of Jax' youth. She was standing and talking to one of the nurses. She had disappeared 11 years ago and I hadn't been aware of the fact that she had gotten back as well. Seemed like I hadn't been the only one.

"Gemma!" Tara said coldly and a shiver ran down my back, "Catherine!"

"Tara!" I replied with a sneer and from the corner of my eye I could see the corner of Gemma's mouth twitch upwards.

"Abel seems better. Stronger!" Gemma said now and Tara nodded while I was just observing the whole scene carefully. Gemma and Tara never really gotten along in the past and it seemed like that hadn't changed.

"Yeah. He is a lucky kid. Both he and his mum escaped death on the same night." Surprised I looked at Tara. Though I knew that Wendy was Abel's mother I didn't know about the state she was in. Jax hadn't told me so far.

Gemma did not let show if she knew something about it or not, "Yeah. I heard about Wendy. Very sad. I can't say I'm surprised. Come on, Cat, we're leaving!"

Silently I followed Gemma to the lifts but Tara was holding us back.

"Guess you wouldn't be," the younger one said and suddenly Gemma stopped. They would both provoke the other one until one of them would break. That's for sure.

"Something on your mind?" Gemma asked her viciously and nervously I bit down on my lower lip.

"No. Something weighing on yours?" Tara countered and I was ready to get in between them before the situation would escalate.

Gemma was focusing on Tara now and I was holding myself back while observing the whole scene, "Junkie tell you something?"

Stunned I stared at Gemma. Wendy was a junkie. So no wonder that Abel had been a preemie and that he was still under observation. Thinking of Wendy I got angry. How could she do that to her own baby?

"No, she's still sedated," Tara told us and approached Gemma. "But I talked to her after that baby was born. She was crushed. She hated herself but she wanted to live. No, somebody else popped her with that needle. Or, at the very least, gave her the loaded gun!"

Confused I looked at Gemma who had put on her poker face and I couldn't tell if she was fazed by Tara's accusation or not. I knew that Gemma would do anything to protect her family but what Tara was accusing her of was a bit too drastic. Even for Gemma.

Without another word Tara proceeded to the lift and waited for it to appear. Gemma shouldered her bag and then stood beside her while I remained behind them. I didn't know what to think about this whole situation.

"Guess you think I'm that somebody? Guess I was the one shooting it into her fingers and toes the whole goddamn time she was pregnant too?"

"No. That sin's on her!" Tara replied dryly while just the thought of Wendy was infuriating me. How could she do this to her own child? Whatever Gemma had done, I was sure that Wendy deserved it. "If I were a cop, I'd call that motive!"

"Well, thank God you're only a doctor!" Gemma said dismissively and I couldn't hold back a malicious grin. Tara should really be careful who she was messing with.

"We'll see what Wendy says when she comes out of detox," Tara seemed like she wanted to have the last word in this conversation and I rolled my eyes at her behavior. "Or maybe I'll bounce my theory off of Jax. See where he lands on it!"

"That's how you're gonna win back his heart?" I interfered because I couldn't just stand there and listen to her talking bullshit any longer. Surprised Gemma and Tara turned around to me. "Accusing his mother of trying to murder his ex-wife? Come on. You're smarter than that, Knowles!"

"I'm not trying to win back anybody, Winston," She replied viciously while I looked down at her.

"No? Then why did you come back to Charming?" Gemma asked the brunette who was now feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"Because of the job!"

Questioningly I raised an eyebrow, "Which one? Doctor or detective?"

"Everything comes around. No one is untouchable!" The doctor hissed before the doors to the lift opened and Tara stepped into it.

"We're going to take the next one, baby," Gemma told me but didn't look at me. Her eyes were fixed on Tara who was looking at us conceited before the doors of the lift closed in front of her.

[…]

"What was that about, Gemma?" I asked Jax' mother now while we were waiting for the next lift to arrive. The older one sighed and then turned to me.

"Nothing you have to worry about, baby," She laid her hand on my cheek and irritated I looked at her. "Cat, you've only been here for two days. I don't want to bother you with all that shit already because that bitch couldn't keep her nose out of things that don't concern her!"

"Then tell me the truth about Wendy," I asked Gemma and she seemed to quarrel with herself whether she should tell me the truth or not. "I am part of the club, as you like to point it out since I'm back. You are my family, Gemma. And I am sure that whatever happened to Wendy, she deserved it!"

When Gemma heard how furious I was about Wendy, she couldn't hold back a proud smile before she stepped into the lift and I followed her.

The doors shut and she turned to me, "There are some things you shouldn't know of, baby. It's only for your own protection!"

I nodded understandingly and then put my hands into the pockets of my jeans. Gemma was right, however, I didn't like the fact that Jax seemed to know nothing about the whole situation. But it wasn't my place to tell him. That was Gemma's job.

[…]

It was already getting dark when I followed Gemma to Jax' house. The vice president of the club was on another tour, but Gemma wasn't telling me anything more.

Shortly after she showed me everything she left the house and now I was sitting alone on the bed in the guest-room that Half-Sack had prepared for me.

Although I was glad to be home again and that nothing would happen to me here, a part of me wanted to run far away from Charming. Getting involved with the club again put me in the line of fire. I knew how dangerous it was, but still the club was my family whether I wanted it or not. I depended on them. I needed their protection, otherwise I could also just go back to Jacob. Something I never wanted to again.

Sighing I ran my hand over my face before I took some painkillers from the nightstand and washed them down with water, Hopefully the pain in my stomach would vanish soon. But sure a little sleep would help. Therefore, I slipped under the covers and turned out the light before I closed my eyes and drifted off into sleep.

* * *

 _Thank you all so much for favoriting, following and reviewing. I never thought that this story would get so many followers already. So, I hope you all liked the second chapter. Please let me know what you think of it._

 _A huge thank you to my amazing beta reader writergrrrl! Thank you so much, my dear._

 _Lots of love - jenn xx_


	4. Chapter 3 - Day 3

**If you ever feel alone, don't**  
 **You were never on your own**

* * *

 _Day 3_

It was already shortly after midday when the loud knocking on my door woke me up from my sleep. Tiredly I sat up and peeled the cover from my body before I answered the door. Half-Sack stood on my doorsteps, looking a bit lost.

„Hey Cat," He greeted me and gave me a nervous smile.

Once I let the prospect in, he followed me into the kitchen and while I was making myself a tea. Kip sat down at the kitchen table and watched me carefully while I was searching for a cup.

„Can I do something for you, Kip?" I asked the redhead and turned to him.

He took a deep breath before he answered me, „Gemma said I should get you and drive you to the clubhouse. She said something about tonight!"

„Oh yes, the family dinner. Just let me get ready and I'll drive to the clubhouse myself, okay? You can already go ahead, Kip!"

„Gemma said I should wait for you," He murmured and with a knowing smile I nodded before I friendly patted him on the shoulder and then left the kitchen to go get ready.

It was good to know that the club was still looking out for me after all this time.

[…]

Half an hour later Kip and I drove onto the lot. It was a busy day and I recognized Bobby who was just coming out of the clubhouse. Smiling I waved at him before I left into the direction of the office in which I suspected Gemma to be.

The door was open and Gemma was bending over the desk, wildly rummaging through the papers. Loudly I knocked against the door and startled Gemma turned around.

„Hey," I smiled at her while the brunette shook her head and then placed a kiss on my cheek: „Can I help you?"

„No, everything's alright, baby" She replied, „I was just searching for this contract that I put somewhere but I can't find it right now. It will turn up sooner or later. Did you sleep well, baby?"

„Like a baby," I grinned and sat down on the old sofa, „So, what was so urgent that you had to wake me from my peaceful sleep?"

Laughing she looked at me, „I wanna remind you of tonight and then I have a request for you!"

Confused I raised an eyebrow while Gemma was now leaning against the table, „Can you please talk to Donna and ask her to come tonight?"

„She doesn't want to have anything to do with the club anymore. Me talking to her won't change that!"

„I know, I know. This stubborn bitch," She murmured and then shrugged apologetically when she saw the angry look I was giving her, „We're her family and I am just trying to get everybody under one roof. Opie spends more and more time with the boys again and I just think that Donna and the kids would enjoy tonight!"

I understood where she was coming from, „I'll try my best but I can't promise anything!"

„Thanks baby!"

„It's okay, Gemma. I see what I can do!", I replied and then left the office.

The sun was beaming down on the lot and with a pensive smile I looked around. Nothing seemed to had changed and it felt like I had never really left. The noise of the machines and the sound of tools being used to repair the bikes and cars was music to my ears. Nothing gave me more the feeling to be home again than being at the clubhouse.

I was just about to go find Jax to thank him for letting me stay at his place when I saw Juice coming my way.

Our first encounter yesterday didn't go so well and I tensed when he came closer.

„Hey," he said nervously, „Look, about yesterday…"

„You don't need to apologies," I stopped him mid-sentence. However, Juice violently shook his head.

„I wasn't thinking, okay? Clay told us what really happened and I am really sorry. Sometimes I just speak without even thinking!" He explained and I gave him a thankful smile, „And I promise you if I'll ever meet this guy I am going to kill him!"

I couldn't hold back a relieved laugh and thankful for his words I pressed a kiss to his cheek, „Thanks, Juice!"

His cheeks turned pink immediately before he gave me a short nod and then hurried back to the open garage. For a moment I watched him continue his work at the garage before I made my way to look for Jax.

I had searched the whole lot but there had been no trace of Jax. The only place I hadn't looked yet was the place we used to hide at when we were younger. It was the place we went to when we just wanted to be for ourselves and didn't want anyone to find us, so we had climbed the stairs up to the roof of the garage and had spent hours there while Gemma and Piney had looked for us for hours.

And indeed, when I was now reaching the top of the garage there he was. Jax was having a cigarette and just staring into the sky.

„Hey Jax!", I sad and surprised he looked at me, „Still room for me here?"

„For you always, darlin'," He nodded and with a smile I sat down beside him, while he was holding a book bound in leather in his hands.

„What's that?" I asked him curiously and startled Jax looked at me before he passed me the book. Taken back I browsed through the book and stopped here and there to read a few sentences, „Your father wrote this?"

„Yeah," Jax sighed and firmly I held John's manuscript in my hands, „It's about his visions for the club and what he wished for it's future!"

Thoughtfully I nodded and then gave Jax back the manuscript, „Everything okay with you, Jax?"

„I'm fine, darlin'" His answer didn't really convince me but I didn't want to ask too much. If he was ready to being honest with me he would tell me truth. „But what about you? How are you doin', Cat?"

„Still a little bit sore and the painkillers make me tired but otherwise I am just glad to be back home again," I admitted truthfully and then leaned my body against Jax who put his arm around my shoulder, „I should have come back sooner, but Jacob… and the whole situation… I just couldn't!"

„Hey, hey," He whispered and pressed a soft kiss to my har, „Right now the only thing that matters is that you are home. We've missed you all so much!"

„I did too, Jax, I did too," I replied quietly and for a moment just closed my eyes. It felt really good to be back home.

„And now you're goin' to tell me why you left Charming in the first place!"

„Jax," I started and shook my head, „It…it was nothing. I was just sick of this small town. Being here felt like being in a cage. I wanted to start fresh, somewhere were I could be myself. Somewhere where I didn't feel the pressure of being a heir of the club. Being someone else than Piney's daughter and SAMCRO's princess. Just admit it, you sometimes feel the same way!"

I didn't know if Jax was believing one word I was saying when I didn't even believe myself right now.

„Yeah, sometimes but this is my home," He said seriously and I nodded, „And it is also still your home!"

„I don't want to run anymore!"

„Then welcome back home, baby!" Jax laughed and hugged me tightly.

Yeah, welcome back home, Cat.

[…]

„And you're sure you still don't want to come?" The phone pressed to my ear I stood in front of Gemma's and Clay's house, talking to my sister-in-law. Nothing what I said could convince Donna to come to Gemma's party which Jax' mother had planned right down to the last detail.

„I'm sorry, Cat, but we don't want to have any business with these people anymore," Donna replied coldly and I tried hard to hold back a snarky comment.

Deeply I took in a breath before I replied, „Okay, say Hi to Opie and the kids from me. Talk to you tomorrow!"

„Bye, Cat!"

Of course I could understand Donna but still, the club had always been like family and to keep the members and their families safe was the top priority of SAMCRO. However, I also knew that whatever I would say to Donna it wouldn't change her mind. Therefore, all I could do was keep my mouth shut.

I was just about to enter the house and finally join the party when the front door opened and Chibs stood right in front of me, „Hey darlin'!"

„Hey Chibs," I greeted the older one and let myself get pulled into a warm embrace, „Everybody there already?"

„Yeah, we're all just waitin' for ya, baby" He said and then shooed me into the house.

Now grinning from ear to ear I entered kitchen in which Gemma stood with Luann Delaney. Chibs excused himself to join the other guys at the dining table while I now put my arms around Gemma's and Luann's shoulders. Startled both women turned around and when Luann recognized me she threw her arms around my neck.

„Cathy!" She screamed and kissed my cheek over and over again, „Finally, you're back!"

The porn producer was Gemma's best friend and had always greeted me with open arms. Her and Gemma had taught me everything I had to know about being a young woman and I couldn't describe how happy I was to see the blonde again.

„Shoo! Shoo! Take your seat at the table!" Gemma waved me away with a wooden spoon and pointed into the direction of the dining table, telling me to join the guys.

„Don't you need my help?" I asked her confused.

Luann wildly shook her head, „Nah, that's what the crow-eaters are for!"

Smiling I looked around Gemma's kitchen and noticed two young women wo scurried around the kitchen in their slutty shorts. It was hardly to ignore that these two were obviously crow-eaters. Women who hung around at the club to sleep with one of the Sons. None of them would ever be in a seriously relationship with one of them. Nevertheless become an Old Lady.

„Out of my kitchen! NOW!" Gemma yelled at me with a big smile and before I left the kitchen, I left a kiss on her cheek.

Everybody was already sitting on the table and when I entered the dining room everyone was cheering. Grinning Tig rose from his seat and put his hands on my hips before he kissed my right cheek, his lips dangerously close to the corners of my mouth. Amused I shook my head before I turned to Bobby and put my hands on his shoulder while I bent down and left a kiss on his soft cheek.

„Hey Baby," He greeted me quietly and when I slowly stood up again I caught the eyes of Jax.

The older one winked at me and then pointed to the seat opposite from him. For a moment I hesitated and looked nervously at Clay who was sitting at the head of the table. Inventing he nodded and with a dull feeling in my stomach I sat down beside Bobby.

„Where is Piney?" Jax asked me curiously while pouring me a glass of whiskey. Thankfully I smiled at him when he handed me the glass.

„He didn't feel so well today, but he wants you all to know that he's sad that he can't join us tonight and that he thanks you for the invitation, Gemma," I turned to Gemma who just entered the dining room and put the bowl full of mashed potatoes on the table.

Clay's Old Lady nodded, „That old man needs to get well fast!"

„With a bottle of tequila it is going to be sooner than later," Chibs said and the table erupted in laughter while Gemma sat down beside Clay and pressed a kiss to his lips.

Embarrassed I turned away and caught once again Jax' eyes who smiled at me widely before he raised his glass and then took a big sip from it. While I lowered my gaze for a second I couldn't ignore the feeling of safety that flooded through my body right now and I enjoyed this feeling before I reached for a corncob and then joined in Bobby's conversation with Chibs.

It really felt good to be back home.

* * *

 _Sorry for not being so active lately but hopefully you can forgive me with the next chapter. Thank you to everyone who favorited or followed this story, it means a lot to me. I hope you guys like this chapter. Please let me know what you think of it! :)_

 _Lots of love - jenn xx_


End file.
